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Marines Jokes This joke may contain profanity. 🤔 I am over 18 Three boys are playing marines outside. A man walks up to them and asks what they're up to. The first boy doing air squats says "I'm rock climbing." The second boy running in place says "I'm on tour right now running through the desert."
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10 Funny Jokes Just For Marines Date: Jan 11, 2023 By: Military Machine 1. Q: What did the marine say when he saw a bee? A: Oorah bee-rah! 2. Q: What did the marine sergeant yell out on a really hot day? A: Hundred and twenty degrees, and falling! 3. Q: What did the marine call the cow he saw in the field? A: Private moo. 4.
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Five Most Dangerous Comments A military private saying "I learned this in boot camp…" A military sergeant lieutenant saying "Based on my experience…" A military captain saying "I was just thinking…" A military warrant officer saying "Okay now watch this shit…"
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An old nearly blind marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar. He sits down at the bar, squints through his old eyes, sees a woman at the end of the bar and gives her a wave. She sees the old man, lifts her arm and gives him a big wave back, revealing a very hairy armpit.
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1) In World War II, a German U-boat was sunk because of a malfunctioning toilet. 2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship. 3) The pen used by the military meets 16 pages of military specs. 4) At the real-life Topgun program—the one the film was based on—
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Funny Jokes About Marines 1. Why couldn't the two marines play cards on the ship? Because the captain was on the deck. 2. What do you call a marine who is only a part-timer at the ship? A sub-marine. 3. What do marines like to eat in fruits? Crayon-berry. 4. Why was the marine sad? Because his pet died and he felt he now has no porpoise to live! 5.
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Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring out the military humor in the most serious sergeants. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever.
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1. What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran. 2. As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.
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The Marines reply, "Congratulations. You are now a Marine. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The Marines lead the man to a wooden door, where the base commander says, "The sound is right behind that door." The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny.
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Joke #1 What do soldiers do when they find a scorpion in their tent? In the Marines, they kill the scorpion. In the Army, they call their CO and report the presence of the scorpion. In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there's a tent in his room. The Navy wonders what a tent and a scorpion are. Joke #2
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Three marines are walking through the woods and come across a set of tracks. the first marine says, "those are deer tracks." second disagrees "them are elk tracks" the third disagrees with both of them"those are moose tracks" they were still arguing when the train hit them. 14. How do you say "helicopter"in the Marine Corps?
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While you were looking, did you see a Marine standing at attention, saluting?" The cashier replies, "no, sir. I just saw an old, retired veteran lying on two seabags." A sailor tells a joke to two Marines A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?"
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A platoon. What do you call someone who is being mean to a Marine? Rotten to the corps! What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist? A marine biologist. How does a Marine like his eggs? Semper-fried! Yo mama so fat, the Marines used her pants for a parachute. Where do peanuts go if they want to join the Marines? Camp Legume.
It's entirely appropriate to kill a fly with a sledgehammer
Top 99 Funny Marine Jokes: Why don't sharks like to eat clownfish? Because they taste funny! Why did the crab never share? Because he's a little shellfish! How do oysters call their friends? On shell-phones! Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea weed! What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! Why did the fish go to Hollywood?
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6. The urinal joke. A sailor and a Marine are both in the bathroom taking a piss. The sailor finishes up and washes his hands. The Marine gets done, and then immediately starts heading for the door. The sailor stops him and says, "in boot camp, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak."
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Conclusion. These military jokes are meant to bring a smile to your face and celebrate the humor that soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines, and military families often share. Laughter is an essential tool for coping with the challenges of military life, and these jokes remind us that even in the most serious situations, humor can be found.